Lately when my phone rings I’m pretty sure it’s going to be someone that needs a zap of my sunshine because staying positive is a thing I do. Most interviews and follow ups come in as emails. I answer all calls and return the calls I miss because I believe a call (or text) means someone has something important to say to me. Even pocket dials are taken as an opportunity for serendipity. Most of the time, these calls from a small handful of people leave me exhausted. Opening with a hello often opens the door to the many ways their frustrations and stresses and depressions weigh on their souls. They unload, and I don’t avoid it because there is a trust in being the keeper of secrets. There is an undeniable honesty in the heaviness unburdened on me. The phrase “emotional vampire” comes to mind, but I dismiss it because it seems harsh.
Every call ends with their heaviness weighing on me. It usually takes a moment to shake it off. Sometimes it takes effort. Sometimes it takes a minute in the sun. Sometimes it just requires clothing optional lounging. The best escape and recharge is when I get lost in nostalgia and remember the times and the men that made me smile. It’s playing with my dogs or my cat taking hostage of my arm (when she’s kind enough to retract those claws). Those calls end and I’m putting on music to sing and dance to. I’m shaking off the lingering energy that is heavy and sticky. Sometimes those calls force me outdoors. Today I was content in the powerlessness of being stuck in traffic. Wow. Does that mean I prefer traffic to the voice I heard right before it? I’m not sure.