It’s amazing what we will accept in the name of love, isn’t it? I mean, there has to be a reason we will accept heartache and pain, loneliness and defiance from those that we love. We cover their sins by saying we love someone or excuse their poor behavior when they never bothered to excuse it away. Love isn’t blind. We’re not blinded by an emotion we choose.
I believe love is a choice. Lust is more instinctive than love, and we can control lust. We’re not animals. Rape culture tells us to dress differently and carry ourselves as if we are less so we don’t attract men, but I believe we are in control of our lust. There would be plenty of men in serious trouble if I acted on every single one of my lustful impulses. My hike this morning put a few beautiful men in my path, with friends, and running. Amazingly, I didn’t assault them. If acting on an impulse like lust is a choice, then acting on an impulse to care enough to love is also a choice. You choose to look for the best parts of a person and hold within you an ember of hope that they will be able to step into all of the wonderful things you see in them. People will fail you. You see things they can’t see and they fail your expectation because they don’t hold themselves to the level you do. It’s so much easier to find the amazing in someone else than it is to find it in ourselves.
As a woman that has loved children and men and sisters and parents, I can see stubbornness and laziness. I can see conditional love and selfishness. I can see anger and aggression. I can see people take advantage of kindness. In love, we can see clearly. We can also choose to cover them in our love and hope that they will do better.
Love isn’t blind. Love allows us to see our loved ones more clearly than they see themselves. It allows us to look past their faults with intention and see the parts that aren’t yet clear. Love gives us the space to offer our best to cover their worst and defend the indefensible behaviors that others don’t understand.
Love is clarity. Love is hope. Love is reaching beyond what is to cull what could possibly be. Love is crystal clear. Love sees it all and hopes for the vision we hold to come through.