Anatomy of a Catfish, Day 6 

We get past the good morning texts. The I love you texts.  The I miss you texts.  The what have you eaten and tell me about work texts.  Then we get to the other ways he wants to make his way into my family and life.

He wants to meet my family, and be part of my children’s lives.  He plans to meet them when he’s back on Christmas Eve.  We pretend jet lag doesn’t matter.

Forever is a really long commitment based on a week of communication by text.  I mean, he has no clue if I have halitosis or kill kittens for fun.  Whatever.  In for a penny, you suffer my pound, right? Speaking of, my pictures are all me, but the un-angled real shots are the group ones where I don’t have a mirror to preen into.  You see my soft jiggly marshmallow fluff in those.  That’s authentic.  But he’s only seen my selfies.

I don’t remember, but I also don’t remember when those details were something I would want to share with someone I just met.  The idea that sex would make me feel like a woman is disrespectful to the boobs that sweat for me, the period cramps that can cripple me and body that has birthed 7 babies.  I don’t need a man to make me feel like a woman.  I have a whole body for that.

I like to do these things alone, but I think in general, the point of dating is to discover what you’d like to do together.  Latching onto the idea of the museum we briefly spoke about on the other side of the country with my kids is not my idea of a good time.  My boys hate the idea of leaving the house for a grocery run.  I am not dragging them across country for anything less than a marriage, and even then, I’m not excited about having that letter, talk, and exchange with the ex to be able to do it. Take me to the Huntington Library.  It’s on my list and local.

Ever . . . Recently . . . He’s inspired a few blog posts.  It’s usually only really special men that get my attention and hold it for a while that get to do that.

He wants to prove his love by marrying me, but accidently called me and couldn’t handle that conversation.

A blessing that he couldn’t talk to for free, through Google.  Yeah.  The special feelings are coming at me from everywhere.  It feels like a tingle that raises the hair on the back of my neck.

He wants to marry me? I’m not big on shopping for clothes, but I can do some serious damage on an Amazon account, and I should have looked into stock options for Target considering how many vacations I’ve funded for those shareholders.

Support my blog! Get me more followers and hits.  Oh wait.  He’s so supportive.

I think a two week anniversary of when we first started chatting on Okcupid is the perfect time to shop for engagement rings.  Let’s cherish our forever based on two weeks of the deep conversations we never have!  He’s a keeper.  Totally.

 

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